Does your life reflect Thankfulness?

Posted on by Tanner Royalty

As a rollercoaster holiday season approaches one word gets tossed around quite a bit… thankfulness. What does it mean to be thankful? How does one live life thankfully? Is it a natural response or a choice? What are we thankful for?

Often times we dumb down a life of thankfulness to simply giving “thanks.” When in reality it’s so much more… a life of thankfulness is a behavioral style, a thought pattern and mindset, an attitude, and a choice most of all.

Psalm 107:8-9 says,

Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

Being thankful is something that’s always within our control.

Nothing turns us into bitter dissatisfied people more quickly than an ungrateful heart. We see it all around us! We live in an ungrateful dissatisfied society and unfortunately that spirit has made its way in and is prevalent in our churches. Nothing robs us of the joy of Christ and our salvation faster than neglecting to recognize and be thankful for the things around us.

We see in Romans 1:21 that when humanity rebels we neglect to recognize and give thanks to God. It says,

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Have we forgotten how dependent we are on God for everything?

Let’s not be foolish or ungrateful. Let’s give thanks.

Below I will offer some thoughts and applications on how we can develop, maintain, and nurture a thankful heart which is then exhibited through a thankful lifestyle.

  • Focus on Christ.

Psalm 103:1-6 says,

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.

When we read this thankful Psalm it is necessary to notice that the first thing we must do is focus mind and heart on God! Looking at the passage we can see the priority that the Psalmist David places on recognizing that all we have to be thankful for comes from Christ. Everything within the Psalmist David, and hopefully us, should rejoice and say “Bless the Lord” first in all situations.

Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:19-20,

Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

James 1:17 says,

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Let’s open our eyes to the glory of God! But, if that alone isn’t enough to spark your flame just count up the numerous undeserved gifts God spreads before each of us every day!

  • Remember how far we’ve been Brought.

This lengthy section out Psalms 107:13-32 recalls the numerous deliverances the Lord has provided His people,

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron.

Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!

Some went down to the sea in ships, doing business on the great waters; they saw the deeds of the Lord, his wondrous works in the deep. For he commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths; their courage melted away in their evil plight; they reeled and staggered like drunken men and were at their wits’ end. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! Let them extol him in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders.

We can also look into the Old Testament at the story of Moses and see how God used him to accomplish His task of delivering the Israelites out of Egypt. Even when Pharaoh and his army pursued they were crushed by the sea at the hand of God.

So… let me ask…

How has the Lord delivered you?

What is your testimony? What did the Lord bring you out of? We all have a story, because we are all undeserving of anything expect a sinful, pitiful life that ends with us being in Hell.

But… God ransomed us while we were still undeserving sinners.

Isaiah 53:4-6 says,

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

We all have plenty to be thankful for. Give thanks.

  • Make the Choice.

Paul wrote in Colossians 3:15,

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

A spirit of thanksgiving is always the mark of a joyous Christian.

Colossians 3:15-17 goes on to say,

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

As believers we are called to be a thankful people! We have the most to be thankful for out of anyone… think about it, the riches of the earth are temporal but the gift of Heaven is eternal. So… we don’t have to be the richest, most successful, or popular people on earth to have a thankful Spirit. In Christ we have more than enough to rejoice over!

2 Corinthians 9:15 says,

Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

Thankfulness is a choice.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says,

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

It is the will of God that we live in a constant thankful attitude!

Choose thankfulness. There will always be hardships and trials but because of Christ we have hope and that is enough to be thankful for.

Psalm 106:1 says,

Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

We Do What It Takes.

Posted on by Tanner Royalty

When the projectors aren’t working, when the sanctuary is too cold, when drama breaks out who are they gonna call? Unfortunately not Ghostbusters…

No job description can truly summarize the duties of a minister.

In John 6 we see a very familiar and well-known Bible story unfold. John 6:1-5 says,

After this Jesus went away to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, which is the Sea of Tiberias. And a large crowd was following him, because they saw the signs that he was doing on the sick. Jesus went up on the mountain, and there he sat down with his disciples. Now the Passover, the feast of the Jews, was at hand. Lifting up his eyes, then, and seeing that a large crowd was coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, “Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?”

Most of us recognize this story as one of the miraculous works of Jesus’ earthly ministry, and it is, but I also see this as a description of the life of a minister or disciple. Jesus, the Son of God, the miracle worker, the God incarnate feeds the crowd that was following Him! We know that the crowd obviously needed more than earthly bread and fish, but Jesus recognized a need and fulfilled it.

The job description of one in ministry is exactly that. The work is never ending, and the demands of ministry don’t conveniently fall into a 9-5 schedule. Like a doctor who is on call, ministers are merely between tasks… never really “off the job.”

Ministry is a 24/7 job because the needs of church or ministry remain constant.

We do what it takes to get the job done… regardless of what the job description may say. So… how do we maintain this lifestyle? We obviously aren’t superhuman. Below we will think together on how to be an effective minister, get the tasks done, and not kill ourselves in the process.

  • When possible leave work at work.

In some fields of work when you go home you are free from the duties that come with your job. You can’t really take a piece of machinery home or hold face-to-face meetings from the comfort of your bedroom. Ministry cannot be described in this manner. People have needs that arise at all times of the day and night and need your help “on-the-spot” without warning.

That is exactly what we signed up for.

Pastoral ministry is relational, and relationships are developed in and grown in times of need… and we all know that needs don’t arise according to our convenience or schedule.

However, some things just aren’t that urgent. Some things can be left at work until tomorrow. That bulletin can be printed 12 hours from now, and those lights can be adjusted and programmed another time. When possible leave work at work and allow yourself to rest and be refreshed.

Even Jesus needed some “time-off.” In Matthew 14:23 it says,

And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.

  • Family first.

It is pretty well known that the families of a minister are often the one’s sacrificing the most. Often the needs of a minister’s family are the last to be taken care of. They usually receive the leftovers… however little that is.

But… we must work diligently to see that our family is prioritized correctly and not deserted for the church. In fact, we see in 1 Timothy 3:12 that part of the qualifications for a minister is to have a healthy household.

Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.

All throughout Scripture we see the importance of family in ministry. In 1 Peter 3:7 Paul calls us to live in “understanding” with our families and to care for each other’s needs in more than just physical ways. 1 Peter 3:7 says,

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

For those of us who are married we are called to love our wives/ spouses like Christ loved the church! Ephesians 5:25 says,

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Lastly, Matthew 19:4-6 says,

He said, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

The ESV Study Bible commentary is very beneficial when interpreting this passage. It says,

From the moment they are married, they are unified in a mysterious way that belongs to no other human relationship, having all the God-given rights and responsibilities of marriage that they did not have before. Being “one flesh” includes the sexual union of a husband and wife … but it is more than that because it means that they have left their parents’ household … and have established a new family, such that their primary human loyalty is now to each other, before anyone else.

Our loyalty to our families is unlike loyalty shared with any other mortal being. We must place priority on those who help hold us up, who we come home to, who understand us, and care deeply for us.

We cannot forsake our families.

  • Do not over-commit.

This is a category than I myself struggle with in a very real way. How many times have you over-committed yourself to the point of breakdown? I have over and over again… in fact; I am over-committed at this very moment.

It never happens on purpose! We have an opportunity that arises that really is a good thing and we hop on board eagerly to offer our assistance. Boom! We have too much going on and things get neglected… for me the thing that usually gets neglected is my own physical health/ rest and my poor wife.

Busyness is a real issue!

The devil would love to take us “out of the game” by bogging us down and making it impossible for us to do exceptionally well in any area of our ministry.

This is where priorities are key… we must learn the art of saying “no.”

In ministry sometimes I think we are scared of saying “no” for the fear of letting someone down or missing an opportunity to further the Kingdom of God. But what we often forget is that we are meant to equip… not do ALL the work alone!

Ephesians 4:12 actually says what our ministry is…

To equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.

If we are spending our time equipping others then we should be able to share the workload! It is important for us to remember that it isn’t us that builds the church… it is Christ.

In Matthew 16:18 Jesus says exactly that to Simon Peter,

And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

  • Make time to care for your own spiritual needs.

This should seem obvious, but unfortunately it is easier said than done. As ministers we are constantly pouring ourselves out and into others and if we don’t take time to be refilled then the supply is going to run dry. It’s not a matter or IF… but rather WHEN.

Even Jesus separated Himself from others to pray and refuel.

Mark 1:35 says,

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Matthew 14:23 says,

After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.

We must not sacrifice our own relationship with the Father to get a job “done.” In reality our congregations NEED us to be ever connected to the Lord. Take time. Get alone. Allow God’s Word to speak to you.

It is through the Father alone that we have the strength to handle the tasks of ministry. Rely on Him.

Does your Demeanor encourage Worship?

Posted on by Tanner Royalty

Think back to an awkward moment you’ve experienced where you watched a person speak and through their actions, attitude, or demeanor you could even tell from your perspective that they didn’t truly believe what they were saying. Maybe you are thinking of a politician or a public speaker… but how many of us thought of believers? Do people see that we believe what we say, sing, and preach?

Take a moment and think about it.

What is weirder than a joyless Christian leader? How is the way that we carry ourselves in front of others impacting the way they look at our beliefs? We may believe everything we say and stand for, but if our demeanor doesn’t reflect that belief then we are fighting an uphill battle when evangelizing or speaking about Christ. We certainly aren’t going to kindle a fire or joy inside others while our hearts remain cold and our attitude and faces remain joyless.

How amazing is Christ? We’ve ben given the gift of grace and we have the privilege to sing about the good news!

How can we remain stone-faced?

Philippians 4:4 says,

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.

Are we expressing joy? I dare to say that we live in a narcissistic culture, and we often fall into the temptation of placing the emphasis on ourselves and because of that our worship has the tendency of turning inwards. How many selfies are posted on social media everyday? What is worse is then people will turn around and check back on their own picture to see how many people have liked or complimented it!

There are many obvious problems with this inward focused attitude that we have developed, including the fact that an inward focus in worship cannot provide pure genuine joy because we are placing our joy in the hands of our culture and circumstances.

Where do you gather your self-worth? The world? Your friends and family? Or Jesus?

Matthew 6:21 says,

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

What are you treasuring? Where does your joy come from or what does it depend on?

Does your demeanor from stage properly reflect the fullness of joy which you have in Christ? How can we show it?

  • Truly develop a heart for Worship

I fully believe that we sometimes get too bound up with the technical aspects of worship and forget the relational side of it. Technology is a great thing! Providing an atmosphere for our worship is a good thing too! But… when we allow our focus to shift or our emphasis to waver from why we are doing what we do then our joy becomes dependent on the execution of the technical aspects of our worship. When things don’t go as planned or we feel like something wasn’t “up to par” then our joy suffers.

Then what are we truly worshipping? Are we worshipping the way we do worship? Or are we worshiping God who is worthy of our worship?

We may admonish our praise teams to hit all the right notes and say, “Don’t forget to smile while your doing it.” But often times the emphasis is still on the execution and not the hearts of the worshipper. I believe that genuine worship truly begins when we get our hearts right and because of that we can sing, play, dance, etc.

There is a difference between great worship and a great concert. We leave great concerts unchanged… but worship calls us to move.

  • Have a Joyous and Worshipful Attitude

When it comes to a worshippers attitude it is important to understand who we are worshipping and why.

Acts 17:24-25 tells us exactly who we are worshiping and puts God in perspective to us when it says,

God who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives life, breath, and all things.

The purpose of our worship is to glorify, honor, praise, exalt, and please God our Creator who is in need of nothing we can give, but who delights in our praise. The fact that our God delights in anything that we do should provide enough reasoning and joy to worship continually. If that alone isn’t enough we must remember that our worship is a way that we can show our adoration and loyalty to God for His wonderful undeserved gift of grace in which He provides us with the way to escape the bondage of our sin.

Our worship should occur with a joyous attitude because it should cause us to reflect on the majesty and graciousness of God and Christ, in contrast to our own unworthiness.

God does not have to have our worship, but we should be joyful that He gives us the fact to worship Him.

  • Express your Joy through your Face

This should be a given. When we are joyful we smile, and it is through that smile that our joy becomes contagious.

Have you ever seen a person and just felt that there was something different about them? Maybe they were just positive all the time? Maybe you’ve never seen them without a smile on their face?

I guarantee you that their life isn’t perfect… so why are they smiling? Through Christ we have much to be thankful and joyful over, and we should place those things above our circumstances.

Let’s face it… people don’t want to sing along with a worship leader about the joy of salvation while the worship leader remains unexpressive. How is that believable? An even better question is: How is that possible?

Don’t be afraid to show your emotion.

Keep your circumstances in perspective and smile on! It will be beneficial for not just you… but also for your congregation.

  • Make sure your Joy is Genuine

Worship comes from deep within. We simply cannot fake authentic worship. When we worship our God it appears on our faces, in our voices, and is evident in our demeanor. As worship leaders it should be our goal every time we lead to truly worship our God.

Did you catch that? We should truly worship God. It is personal.

When we can truly worship our God while leading, others around us will benefit. Our worship isn’t about us. It is about God, and in the end we are nothing more than “lead worshippers.” We can’t make people worship… but we can provide the opportunity and a God-honoring Biblical example.

I will leave you with the words of John 15:9-11,

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

Have you received the love of the Father? If you believe that you have then your face and demeanor will show it.

Check the Ego at the Door

Posted on by Tanner Royalty

Everyone has dealt with someone who is a “know-it-all” before. Large egos are easy pretty easy to spot and are typically pretty difficult to deal with. Problems with the human ego or an inflated “self-worth” or importance have been around a long time… in fact, I would argue that ego problems go back nearly almost to the beginning of creation. I think we can find our first ego issue in Genesis 3:1-7 where it says,

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

I find it quite interesting that one of the very devices (ego) manipulated to deceive Eve in the Garden was the very thing that caused Lucifer to fall in the first place. Isaiah 14:12-15 paints us a picture of a self-absorbed Lucifer with an ever growing ego who desired to be seen as more than he really was.

Isaiah 14:12-15 says,

How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’ But you are brought down to Sheol, to the far reaches of the pit.

Obviously we can see by the end of that verse what the outcome of that thinking was… A man named King Solomon, who people say could be the wisest man to have ever lived, said in proverbs 16:18 that,

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Now obviously we have a lot more at play here with the fall of both Lucifer and man than just a human ego issue… but I think we can see a self-importance or self-inflation issue displayed in the Garden of Eden when Eve is deceived by Satan into believing that she could “be like God.” So… we have our very first example of an ego problem.

So… what is the problem with a little confidence? Nothing… if found in Christ.

But… an ego is an entirely different monster. We see in Scripture that the Biblical model for Believers is actually quite opposite to having an ego or inflated sense of confidence in self. The Biblical model or Christ standard is one of humility and of dying to oneself.

Luke 9:23 says,

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

So… for those like myself who like to be involved and love to serve within the Body of Christ and may struggle with pride, ego, or over inflated confidence… what do we do? How can we continue to serve and make sure that the attention is being directed in the right place and that we are staying “in-check?”

  • Check your motives.

Where is our focus? Ourselves? Or others? Matthew 22:37-39 says,

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself

In this verse Jesus teaches us that the greatest commandments were to love God with all we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves. When we truly strive to keep these commandments it is impossible to have an ego issue because we are essentially removing all the focus from ourselves and placing it where it should be… Jesus and others. That’s what it’s all about in the end anyways right?

Our insecurities are often manifested as excess confidence and the desires of the flesh and this world scream out for attention, acknowledgement, and praise but for those of us who have been reborn in Christ we no longer are enslaved to those desires and we no longer must give them dominion over us.

Galatians 2:20 says,

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 5:24 says,

And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

  • Live humbly.

Lets face it… none of us are the best thing since sliced bread or two-ply toilet paper. Without Jesus we are worthless because it is in Him that our only worth is found.

A humble heart has no room for an ego because it recognizes that all we have and all we are comes solely from God. In 1 Corinthians 4:7 Paul gives us a very serious reminder that all we have: our talents, successes, wealth, knowledge, gifts and abilities, etc… come from God and because of that we have nothing of our own to boast of.

1 Corinthians 4:7,

For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?

It is reassuring to know that all we have we have been given and that the Lord’s work isn’t dependent on our talent, skill, or anything else other than our obedience. God hasn’t called us to be the best, most adorned, highly skilled and praise worthy leaders… He has called us to be humble servants.

Micah 6:8 says,

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

1 Peter 5:5-6 says,

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you

Indeed, Jesus Christ is to be the example for how we should live and He Himself lived humbly. In Matthew 11:29 Jesus says,

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Psalm 51:17 says,

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

We aren’t called to be experts. We are called to be humble servants.

Romans 12:3-5 says,

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

If the answer to your problems is yourself then you haven’t addressed the biggest problem of all. Don’t let your ego be your idol… check it at the door.

How are we to use our Authority?

Posted on by Tanner Royalty

Many of us have been given a position of authority. What’s yours? Are you a pastor? Supervisor? Sunday School teacher? Politician? Parent? Etc… You’d be surprised how many of us have been given some amount of authority that we brush off, don’t think about, or don’t even realize we have. Some of us may feel qualified… others maybe not so much. So… what do we do with this authority? We recognize that without leaders and without authority the world around us would be in shambles and chaos, but there is harm if we use our authority incorrectly or for the wrong reasons as well.

I find it interesting that in 2 Corinthians 10 while Paul is both describing himself and defending his ministry he says what we find in verse 8:

Authority, which the Lord gave for building you up and not for destroying you.

Wow. As much as I have loved and read the letters of Paul this one verse never has stood out to me as much as it does in light of having been entrusted with some authority. Let’s take a second to evaluate… how often do we use our authority as a weapon to get things done the way we “want them” or to make things fit our preferences? Do we find it necessary to win every argument or to make our opinion or say known? Is it our way or the highway? Do we lord over people with our authority or do we use our authority to enable them, to build them up, and to create growth in other’s lives?

Let’s take a second to evaluate our authority and how we can use it for the building up of others and the success and growth of the Kingdom of God.

  • Have a humble spirit.

All of us have known a “know it all” and I would be willing to bet that all of us detested that very thought or attitude. How do we carry ourselves as leaders? Do we know it all or are we open to admitting that we don’t know all the answers and maybe there are other ways of accomplishing tasks other than our own?

Philippians 2:3-4 says,

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

I believe there is a difference between an authority figure and a leader. I also believe that we as believers should strive to be the latter of the two. A leader understands that they don’t possess all the answers and uses the people around them to collectively achieve success. A leader empowers and enables the people around them to help them reach their full potential in a task, position, or job. There is a whole lot more to leadership than simply providing the tools necessary to complete a job.

When asked what the qualifications for becoming a “leader” were John Quincy Adams said this,

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.

  • Celebrate the successes of the team.

Have you ever worked for someone who only noticed when you fell short on a task or didn’t complete it in the way they had envisioned? They only noticed the negative when you are faithful and diligent one hundred percent of the time. It stinks.

A good leader uses their authority wisely by recognizing those around them for what they do for the “team.” In every application it is easy to feel “under-appreciated” or not needed, but when a leader “brings to the light” or raises awareness of what others are doing it in turn reminds every team member that they are an important.

We are well aware that 1 Corinthians 12:14-26 says,

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Using your authority for the benefit of those around you will go a long way to encouraging your team and achieving excellence, and when we do receive praise as the “leader” it is important to acknowledge the contributions of the team.

A solid leader needs no other praise than that of achieving, encouraging, enabling, and inspiring.

When Dwight D. Eisenhower was asked to define leadership he did so like this,

Leadership: the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

  • Replicate yourself.

Proverbs 11:14 says,

Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Good leaders or authority figures aren’t afraid to train up replacements for themselves! That may seem crazy but a successful leader uses authority as an opportunity to help others gain insight and abilities.

If you aren’t replicating yourself by pouring into others around you then you need to evaluate what your motives behind leadership and authority are.

An effective leader doesn’t worry about team members around them surpassing them in knowledge, skill, or ability. Instead they recognize that the success and enablement of others is what creates overall success. If we aren’t working to build our kingdom, but rather the kingdom of God, then it shouldn’t be a concern anyways.

John Buchan said,

The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already.

So… we all have a choice to make. Will we use our authority to our advantage, or will we humble ourselves and use our experiences, intelligence, and position to encourage, enable, and build up those around us?

Will you use your authority to build others up or destroy them? The choice is yours.

Proverbs 29:2

When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, But when a wicked man rules, people groan.

Pastoring and Leading with a Tender and Gracious Heart

Posted on by Tanner Royalty

What is your leadership style? How do you get things done? How do you lead and manage those around you and continually push them to strive for excellence even though the majority of them are over-worked and underpaid (if they are paid at all). This question is often ignored and we are rarely taught how to be effective leaders and managers of those who enable us to do our jobs effectively.

Ask yourself… how do I lead others?

  • Are you a micro-manager? Do you have to be at the wheel on every miniscule task? Do you struggle to trust others as much as you trust yourself to do the jobs at hand? If something has to get done are you the only one that you can trust even if others are more than able and equipped to handle it?
  • Are you passive in most, if not all, areas? Do you allow those around you to do “their own thing” and lead from the sidelines just cheering on your team? Do you work beside others to get the job done or do you watch as they perform ALL the duties?
  • Are you a commander and chief? Does your quest for excellence cause you to lead with a firm hand and stern words that strike fear into the hearts of those under and around you? Do you DEMAND respect from others in an unhealthy way? I hope not… and although that is exaggerated you would be surprised how guilty of this behavior most of us are daily.
  • Do you nurture growth in all areas through the things that you say and do? How about, do you nurture growth through the things you DON’T say and DON’T do? Are you a gracious leader who leads by example and works beside their team to accomplish the tasks at hand with excellence and faithfulness?

Did any of those descriptions of leadership styles “hit the nail on the head” when describing you and your style? I bet one of them struck a chord…

As pastors and ministers I believe we should challenge ourselves to lead with grace and tenderness to nurture and improve those around us in all areas. That description would best fit under our fourth option or style described. Let me explain why…

Often, speaking for myself here, we get so caught up in the weekly tasks that we tend to ignore those doing them and only acknowledge the tasks themselves instead of acknowledging the one(s) who actually DID the task. We can let time pass without giving things a single thought until we notice something that has been done unsatisfactory or not “up-to-par.” How do we break that cycle? How do we lead and improve/ grow people in the things that they do while showing grace?

The Pastor that I serve under, Herb Williams, has influenced me greatly by leading with a tender and graceful spirit, and by doing so he has grown me and enabled me to do my job more effectively. He has a saying that will forever impact my life and I think it is useful to all of us when put in a leadership position. He says, “I would rather make the mistake of showing too much grace, than make the mistake of being too quick to be harsh.”

An attitude of grace and tenderness grows people and nurtures relationships. Harshness easily turns away and causes dissention or discord.

You may be agreeing with everything I have said but are wondering, “What does this look like, and how do I do it?” Below I have listed several ideas or thoughts on how to develop others by leading with a gracious and tender heart.

  • Show Grace with your Words

Our words mean more than most of us would acknowledge. The way we speak to people can build up and make people comfortable when serving alongside us, or it can tear down and put people on edge and prohibit them from doing their job effectively. Gentleness is something that I personally struggle with. The one who knows this the best is my Fiancé Alaina. Sometimes I have to be intentional when speaking and dealing with her to be gentle. I would dare to say that it is never the problem that we have a desire to be harsh to others… for some of us harshness just comes naturally and that is something we must work on and deal with. When speaking with people we should strive to use words that are kind and gentle… words that build a nurturing and effective working environment.

In other words, be careful what you say and how you express yourself! Do you have some words in your vocabulary that shouldn’t be there? You may react to that question quickly with a resounding, “NO!” But hear me out… there may be some words that we say to express ourselves that aren’t “bad” or “curse” words, but they also aren’t helping us out when we are trying to connect and nurture others. Some things just come across as more tense, harsh, or dividing than others. The old sayings, “Think before you speak” and, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” ring loud and true and are very helpful here. After all, there are ways of saying constructive and difficult things nicely…

Love those around you. Grow them. Pour into them and allow them to pour into you. Nobody is damaged beyond repair, or inadequate. We all deserve to be shown respect, so let the cycle start with YOU.

  • Correct and Guide with Grace

Obviously there are times we need to correct other people, but there is a way to do that in a way that develops a constructive environment with the ultimate goal of doing things with an excellence that points people to none other than Christ. Our critiques and corrections never have to be done in a hateful or mean-spirited way. Instead I have found that providing tips and bringing to light areas to focus and improve upon gets the job done while also providing a teaching and learning opportunity for all parties involved. It may take longer to approach things in this manner, but overall it teaches and conveys things in a way that makes them “stick” through experience more so than a “quick-fix” method. In the end, we are here to pastor and minister and we have to accept the fact that all changes aren’t made overnight. A challenge that we all need to accept is to find ways to gently say what needs to be said and to promote unity and growth through our constructive guidance and/ or criticism.

  • Get YOUR Hands Dirty

 This point may seem like it doesn’t belong… but I assure you that it absolutely does. Every good and gracious leader divides up tasks and places trust in people, but they also lead by example. NEVER give another person a task that you aren’t willing to do yourself.

Do you think that you are too good for particular tasks? Are you willing to:

Sweep the floors?

Clean the toilets?

Sanitize after a disastrous vomit experience?

Make those hard home or hospital visits?

Run the Soundboard or projectors?

If you are above any of these tasks then get out now… You can’t expect another staff member or volunteer to do something that you haven’t, or aren’t willing to do yourself. Be gracious by making life easier for those around you. Part of any pastor or ministers job is to care for and equip those around them. Equipping someone may mean showing them grace and guiding them through a task… and I hate to break it to you, but that isn’t always a quick endeavor!

Are you caring for and equipping people or setting them up for failure?

  • Show those Around you that they are Appreciated

Think to a time when you felt under-appreciated or taken for granted. It’s awful isn’t it? Was it harder to stay motivated and to pursue excellence in the tasks that you are in charge of? I bet it was. Simple acknowledgements of appreciation go a long way in nurturing a positive working environment. We all hopefully have the same interest and passion: working for the Lord’s glory… but we have different avenues and ways of going about accomplishing that task. Support each other and provide recognition when people are exceling in their particular areas. Take time to say “thank you.” It doesn’t cost anything, but it can be the exact encouragement someone needs to press on.

On the same note, part of leading with a tender and gracious heart is to be able to acknowledge and intentionally apologize when we fail. We must swallow our pride, humble ourselves, and admit that we were wrong or that we came up short. We won’t do everything right and those around us know that… stop the act and admit it. If we are gracious in the ways that we lead others then I bet they will be when the roles are reversed. If you are tender and gracious in your leading then I bet you will have many people wanting to support you and pick you back up when you fall.

Be a gracious leader by rejoicing with others in their victories and successes and by supporting people through their shortcomings.

This list or collection of ideas obviously isn’t comprehensive, and I’m sure many of you could add great insight into this post. That being said, I hope you have taken something from this because I know I sure have. We all have work to do… none of us are perfect leaders, but we should always be willing to adapt and improve. I will leave you with the words of Ephesians 4:32:

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.